Somewhere in Middle-earth, is there a Chili’s that serves orcs? Does an Uruk-hai host greet hungry customers, tell them it’ll be a 20-minute wait, and hand them a menu? Does the kitchen run out of manflesh halfway through the dinner rush? Is halfling served as an appetizer? What precisely is in the Triple Dipper? These are unreasonable questions to ask of an otherwise perfect fantasy epic. Unfortunately, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers invites every one of them with one line that feels deeply anachronistic.