This story hits close to home. I am a child of divorce; I know there's a bunch of us out there. Is it a fun part of relationships? No. Is it a recurrent part of reality? Yes, absolutely. Nobody goes into a marriage expecting things to go wrong, or at least, I really hope so. That said, things happen, and couples that seem to be able to last forever are better off as separate individuals. Let me make this clear: divorce is not always awful. Believe it or not, it can be the better option. That is one of the most valuable lessons I learned as a kid.
When I was younger, my parents were a bit chaotic. They struggled to be on the same page about day-to-day preoccupations of life and ended up distancing from one another. Most people would think this is not so great a scenario for a child, but you would be wrong. When they finally made the decision to part ways, I was young, but even I could see it was for the best. They went on to figure out a co-parenting relationship that, after a while, ended up being quite functional and gave them the space they needed to be happy on their own. It is not an easy process, I'll admit that much. But it can be a path that opens up unexpectedly and lead to a much more peaceful relationship between everyone involved.
That said, it is a rough path to say the least. It takes time for the pieces to fall into place, and there is a lot to figure out when children are involved. Nobody has a manual for these situations; you have to figure it out on your own. How? Communication, an open mind, and lots of a "don't give up" mentality. Take it from my own experience in this area: it is certainly not easy, but it is very much worth it. Once things start to make sense, life gets a lot easier for both parents and kids. The problem is, how exactly do you get there?
I'm afraid the father behind this story just encountered one of the most common ways to find common ground. You talk things out. You communicate the best you can, and hope for the best. Regardless of your tact, sometimes these conversations can turn into arguments. But worry not. It is all part of the process, and disagreeing means that you are on your way to get there eventually.
So if you're a coparent out there trying to do the best you can for your kids, you'll be happy to read that there is no formula here. There is no perfect step-by-step checklist, and every family ends up building a dynamic that works specifically for them. There is no right answer, even when commenters on the internet have very good arguments to make you lean towards one side or the other. I'm sorry to tell you, dear coparent, I don't have any answers either, but I do have some advice. Take it one day at a time, and try to hear what your coparent has to say. Do what feels right at heart and remember everyone's on the same side, just trying to make the kids happy. On that note, here's a story that you can take some inspiration from and debate about. Hopefully, reflecting on it will give you some ideas regarding your own situation. And, to ease your wondering mind, know that I had an awesome childhood.