The author, an experienced public speaker, opens with a memory from his time in the ICU to illustrate the first rule, “Don’t Die,” which advocates for finding humor amid life’s absurdities as a way of surviving. The next rule, “Wake Up,” is about letting go of delusions: “You finally say: here I am, this is what I am truly like, and here is what is really happening,” Berkun writes. “You Are Not Your Thoughts” makes the provocative point that thoughts are simply information, not identity markers. In contrast, the “Feelings Are Friends” rule states that emotions are messengers that need to be heard. In urging readers to “Observe Yourself,” Berkun advises accepting “whatever shows up in your mind.” “Knowing Is Not Doing” is a reminder that knowledge does not compensate for experiential wisdom. Questioning why things are the way they are—and who decided they should be so—is vital, according to “Everything Is Made Up.” Berkun explains that because life rarely makes sense, we should all “live it up” and “indulge now and then in nonsense.” “Do It Anyway” encourages taking action despite resistance, while “Show Up” emphasizes that “you decide your own level of involvement in life.”
Berkun shares helpful perspectives on accepting life on its own absurdist terms, and his conversational voice makes for an easy, accessible read. The book’s tone shows understanding and supportiveness throughout (“It’s no wonder emotions overwhelm us, because that’s what they are designed to do”), and the author also uses subtle humor to liven things up: “Our thoughts are at best a mixed bag of mostly stale nuts and we should not take them so seriously.” Berkun chooses his metaphors carefully, such as likening feelings to “unruly kids,” while intrusive, anxiety-causing thoughts are an “annoying uncle.” The book draws from a variety of intellectual sources, from Seneca and Kafka to the Bible and Buddhism, and the author has a keen grasp of it all. Berkun also delves into his painful experiences—including a paralyzed vocal cord that led to a “mental breakdown”—to illustrate how he came to these hard-won insights, writing, “I had to start over with my emotions as if I were a child, and with the help of a trauma therapist and close friends and family, I slowly learned to function again.” The “Ask Questions” section includes thought-provoking prompts such as “What can you be curious about?” and “What do you need to accept?” Berkun’s strategies for living in the present are simple yet effective, such as meditating, pausing before eating, moving the body, and being in nature. A minor quibble is that the book can sometimes feel more like a lecture than a framework applicable to real-life scenarios. Avid self-help readers may also recognize some material (Mary Oliver quotes, the parable of the Chinese farmer, the “chop wood, carry water” teaching) from similar texts.