I'm in my 5th year, doing architecture in India. Around the 6th semester, I started losing myself and hating art and design. My submissions just turned into something I cooked up last minute to pass, and it worked. I also recieved multiple accolades, leadership positions and a thesis grant.
However, throughout my time here, I've freelanced on the side, interned on the side, and had too much on my plate. I also dealt with multiple deaths of pets and a family member, along with a difficult breakup. I am seeing someone wonderful now who is incredibly supportive.
My thesis semester started in July, and it's supposed to end in 2 weeks. Today is supposed to be my qualifier review for my final internal review. But I couldn't do anything for my design. I have a ton of really good research, but I cannot design. Nor can I pull off something random in 2 weeks. I feel terrible and I can't do it anymore. I broke down in front of my mum last night.
This morning, I told her that I'm going to complete my thesis next year, so it means that I'll graduate 6 months later than my peers. She yelled at me a tiny bit (valid), but mostly supported me saying it's not such a big setback. My dad is on a trip, and started yelling at me on call, but I told him I couldn't do it. I'll talk to him when he's back, he should come to terms with it in a bit.
How do I deal with this feeling of failure, disappointment and setback? I'm also nervous about telling my friends and family, feels like everyone's looking down on me because I used to be a top student. I'm really really low right now and need to speak to my teacher in a bit.
submitted by /u/pigeonwithplans[link] [comments]