The England captain spoke movingly on a night of deserving winners and unintentional hilarity in London

Well, there’s something new. Football: now available in new, genuinely heartwarming flavour.

There was a lovely moment at London’s Palladium theatre on Monday, with the clock creeping towards 11pm at the end of a startlingly shrill and bloated evening of never‑ending awards and never-ending award‑related excitement.

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