Anyone out there who hasn't been to the gym in the last two weeks?

I know I haven't. Look, it's been tough, okay? And I haven't been able to get my life back on track just yet. I might need some extra time to deal with everything I'm behind on; then I can go back to the gym.

This never happens to me; usually, I'm very disciplined, and it only takes me like one or two days tops to go back to my routine, but these past weeks, life has been hectic. I've been trying to keep up with all my responsibilities from work and studies, and even though I always manage to deliver everything, I'm always slightly behind. My schedules are messy, and I feel like I am all over the place.

Maybe this is denial speaking, or some kind of defensive excuse, but I want to get up to date with all my work so I can get back to my normal routine and stop dragging this mess through the rest of the month.

I promise I'm going back tomorrow, even if it's only to do some light cardio. The key is to go back; after that, readjusting is easy. It's crazy how little time it takes to get disaccustomed to something hard you used to do every day. It does get easier while you're at it, but the minute you stop, it's super hard to go back.

I think the best I can do is not punish myself for this; otherwise I'll make going back even harder, but I don't feel good about myself at all. And also, I kinda feel like my body wants to spend more energy than it's currently spending.

I have another confession to make: Not only did I skip the gym for two weeks, but I've also been eating carbs like there's no tomorrow. I think something inside me wanted to let loose, and I've decided to let it. I've said it before: I can't live my life restricting everything. I even believe restriction is what got me here in the first place. So I might have to use this time off to rethink my relationship with food and the gym.

Suddenly, the weights I used to comfortably lift feel intimidating, and I don't know if I can manage, but I suppose it's just a feeling, and it's only a matter of attitude. I hate that my muscles have forgotten how to work out, but my gut hasn't forgotten how to crave three thousand calories of carbs. It's not fair.

I accept it; I've failed, but beware, because when I come back, it'll be over for all of you. I've recharged all my batteries, and I'm feeling more motivated than ever. I will come back with more energy than ever, ready to pull off six more months of uninterrupted activity, and achieve the greatest physique ever known to mankind.

For this, I simply have to forget the love of my life: Gnoccis.