It’s frankly amazing that Ian Greyson is alive at all. A chemical accident in his former life as a renowned forensic psychologist could easily have killed him, but he somehow survived. Now he ekes out a living as a small-time counselor operating out of an office in a strip mall next to a Walmart in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Instead of serial killers and sociopaths, he deals with petty family squabbles and a man in love with his cat, all the while constantly eating chocolates to cope with the physical and psychological pain of his own trauma. Into his malaise steps Alexandra Abrams, a brilliant, enigmatic, and mercurial former neurosurgeon who was put on trial for the murder of her own daughter; she was acquitted by a jury but convicted in the court of public opinion. She also stirs Ian’s memories of his deceased fiancée, Christine. The situation becomes more complicated when a series of exsanguinated bodies start turning up; all of them were people with connections to Ian. As Ian falls for Alexandra, their association draws suspicion from his patients, the police, and other members of the community. Moyer weaves together disparate timelines with impressive aplomb, especially for a debut novel. Overall, the book delivers an experience that’s less campy than the title suggests and is better for it, since it plays its weirdness straight; the approach allows Moyer to successfully combine a gripping love story with delightfully strange B-movie tropes. Due to the setting, chocolate also plays a significant role in the story, effectively draping everything in a surreal coating. Moyer’s ability to marry gonzo oddities with an unironically sexy, tragic, and romantic plot is best expressed in Alexandra’s repeated question to Ian: “Do you think I’m dangerous?”