Having a cat is free, they said. All you need is food, litter, and a few toys, they said. Meanwhile, your bank account is hiding under the bed.
It starts innocently enough. You pick up a cute little mouse toy because your cat deserves it. Maybe a new scratching post too. Then you spot a fancy cat bed that looks ridiculously comfortable, and suddenly you're standing at checkout wondering how someone who doesn't have a job has become the most expensive member of the household.
The worst part? Cats have absolutely no appreciation for money. Spend $40 on a beautiful new bed and they'll sleep in the cardboard box it came in. Buy an elaborate cat tree with platforms, hammocks, and scratching posts, and their favorite feature will somehow be the packaging.
Treats are another financial weakness. Your cat already has purrfectly good snacks at home, but these ones are salmon flavored. Those ones are crunchy on the outside. And obviously you need a few Churus because saying no to that little face would be financially responsible, and we're apparently not doing that anymore.
Then there are the completely unnecessary purchases. Tiny hats. Seasonal bow ties. A water fountain. Another water fountain because maybe they'll like this one better. Toys shaped like sushi. A miniature couch that costs more than your actual couch probably should.
Does kitty need any of this? Absolutely not. Are we going to stop? Also absolutely not.
Cats somehow contribute zero dollars toward rent while maintaining extremely expensive tastes, and we happily fund the lifestyle. They get premium treats, cozy beds, endless toys, and room service twice a day while we're checking our bank balance before ordering takeout.
But look at that face. Clearly, the only reasonable financial plan is to keep working hard so our cats never have to.