To: “frank” <frank@postsecret.com>
Hi Frank!
I used the new PostSecret Searchable Archive feature and found a secret I sent to you back in either 2006 or 2007. I don’t remember exactly when I sent it, but I remember shaking as I wrote it.
I was 19 when my boyfriend came home on leave from Iraq. We had been dating for four years and on May 13, 2006, he asked me to marry him. I thought my heart was going to explode from excitement. He was the absolute love of my life and my dreams were actually coming true… But he had to go back to a war zone, reality set in, and I was suddenly terrified I wouldn’t ever see him alive again. It knocked the wind out of me, so I sent you my secret.
He came home and in May 2007, we got married. I was 20, he was 21. We were broke and did everything ourselves. It was not a fancy wedding, but it was perfect for a couple of young kids who loved each other.
I’m 40 now, he’s 41, and we have a young son. That man is still the absolute love of my life. We’ve been through hell and back (the loss of a child, both of my parents, another deployment, multiple health issues…) but he’s my favorite human ever.
Seeing my secret again reminded me of that terrified 19 year old. I wish I could hold her and tell her that things would be okay and to plan her wedding without fear. Instead, I’ll just be grateful for what the last 19.5 years have given me. I never have to experience that fear again.
Thank you
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