For example, my dad's one when a player has a poor touch is "He couldn't trap a bag of sand!" or when a player can hardly turn with the ball he will say something like "He's got the turning circle of the Queen Mary""
After years of having a season ticket I am still amazed by how new ones keep popping up that I haven't heard before. I recently heard "Couldn't hit the ocean from a fucking boat!"
I figured that this must be a universal thing so wondered if anyone had any more that they had picked up over their years of ups and downs as football fans.
submitted by /u/AHeathenFromEton[link] [comments]